Airpods or bluttooth headphones - notifications too loud

There have been previous threads about this same issue. You can go back 8 years and see that this has been an issue for a long time.

When you have Apple Airpods in your ears, phone notification sounds come through at a ridiculously loud level. I have reset my iPhone and Airpods, I have tried Airpods Pro, I have tried Airpods Max. I have gone into the setting s and adjusted the "headphone safety" decibel level to the lowest it will go. No matter what the volume is of the music I am listening to - the notifications come through at the iPhone's ringer volume level.

The only thing I can find to do is use the Shortcuts app to set a trigger that sends me a reminder to decrease my iPhone ringer volume when I insert the headphones. But inevitably there are still many situations in which I forget to do so. Especially when I am out and about trying to field calls from work and in a hurry.

This happens not just with Apple Airpods - I have had it happen with nearly every other Bluetooth audio device you can imagine. I am a technician, so I have a ton of devices to troubleshoot this issue with.

So... Will Apple Please give us the ability to create a Focus status that triggers anytime a Bluetooth connection is made. They CAN because driving mode exists. So it stands to reason that a mode can be created for headphone use. I am tired of my hearing being suddenly SEVERELY damaged by sudden loud sounds from notifications that play during silent times, during phone calls, during listening to music.

Please offer a solution because while you can say an adult should be able to develop a habit to silence their device - teens and kids cannot. So this is screwing up their hearing also.