Hi, and welcome to the Apple (user-to-user) Community!
Re: "iPad assistive access why does iPad screen show “tap” before showing apps"
Am no expert in this area, yet your request surely deserves some response, if only to get your discussion underway, so others have the opportunity to join in.
Seems iPad can only act in accord with the way it has been set-up.
You may want to check through Apple support's online help and guidance.
You could browse through the set-up steps to see if there is anything that needs changing.
How to: Set up Assistive Access on iPad - Apple Support
Eg: says:
"If the iPad you want to use with Assistive Access is new, it needs to be set up before you can start Assistive Access setup. See the Apple Support article Set up your iPhone or iPad."
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If iPad is already set up, make sure it’s updated to iPadOS 17 or later.
See Update iPadOS in the iPad User Guide. (NB: iPadOS 17.5 is the now newest update)
There's also a video online to help with set-up :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4O7XKZWgE3g&list=PLIl2EzNYri0cLtSlZowttih25VnSvWITu&index=2
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Re: "I want the iPad to show the minimal grid of icons ( call,messages, photos) I set up as soon as the iPad is opened and touched/unlocked. Yet after opening the iPad the screen shows a confusing “tap” button.Which you have to tap again before it becomes “open” which you have to tap AGAIN before seeing the row/grid of icons. Can all this be bypassed so that when they open the iPad it goes straight to the big “icons”?"
See how to: Enter and exit Assistive Access on iPad - Apple Support
Eg: says:
Tip: You can configure the Accessibility Shortcut so you can quickly enter Assistive Access using the same button press you use to exit it.
See Quickly open features with Accessibility Shortcut in the iPad User Guide.
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More info, if needed:
See the "Table of Contents" in the Assistive Access User Guide - Apple Support
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More support with Apple's Accessibility features if needed:
Apple's Accessibility Support Website
(NB: You can "Get Support" from the link at the bottom of their website:)
Accessibility Support - Official Apple Support
If you would like to provide feedback about an accessibility feature on an Apple product,
you can email the Accessibility team: accessibility@apple.com.
All the best :-)