Mac Mail gets stuck moving messages to trash for Exchange account

I've dealt with this since Big Sur. Now it is doing it in Sonoma. Mac Mail gets stuck and doesn't update exchange server when deleting emails. If I delete messages slowly... it works fine. deleting more than 1 at a time or hitting the delete button quickly... it causes the issue. I changed where deleted messages are put... between "on my mac" trash and exchange trash. Same issue. I've deleted the envelope indexes... that sucks because I have 150k messages to sync up across 5 email accounts so it takes days. That is not acceptable. I can't do that every month.

I did find out that when a message gets stuck I can open Outlook for mac and rebuild the account. Then it starts to work properly... just for a while. It always comes back...

Any ideas? Safe mode does nothing.