Remote Management user keeps disappearing

I have also experienced this with Sonoma on Apple Silicone. What I have determined is that if you start with Ventura installed and set up ARD with "Only these users" then upgrade to Sonoma, the users stick. If you try to configure ARD with a fresh install of Sonoma the "Only these users" don't stick. So on a brand new M3 Mac with Sonoma pre-installed I wipe the Mac, install Ventura, configure ARD, then I upgrade to Sonoma. First and 2nd Apple Support tiers had not seen it before.

We have the exact same issue with Mac OS Sonoma. Our "Administrator" local user will disappear from Remote Management rendering Apple Remote Desktop useless. When manually enabling Remote Management or using an MDM configuration profile, the problem persists. We can confirm that the problem only exists on systems that are not upgraded to Sonoma. Systems that were upgraded seem to work just fine. I also want to mention that this is an issue even after a fresh wipe and install. We are contacting Apple Support today.

Clicking on "Me too" gives a spinning circle which never stops spinning ...

So I am leaving comment here that I have a similar problem : worked OK, with "All Users", then I added an individual User, now I cannot switch back to "All anymore", or adding more Users also does not work :-(

I just got this to work on a brand new MacBook Air M3. I'm sorry but I don't have the exact steps I did but it stuck. I am going to be testing agin to see if I can repeat the steps I took to get it to work. I did something like enabling all the permissions, clicking okay, quitting Settings, then going back in and adding a user while still under the Any user then back out and back in then adding Only these users, etc. Posting this so that maybe others can also be testing to help figure it out.

When is apple going to fix this godddamn problem?

We loaded up a M2 MacBook and it worked so I went back to Macs and mac mini M3s and still ran into the same issue. I am going to try another laptop and see what happens.

Nope.

I setup a new(est model, as of this writing) iMac which creates an Admin user by default, which is used only if/as needed (never as an actual login!) by the daily user. I enabled Remote Management and Remote Login w/o issue, and before limiting either to any specific user. Then used Time Machine to migrate the Standard, everyday user account from the old iMac (which itself hung the first try, during "Looking for Incompatible Software" even though I was ONLY migrating a single user, and canceling hung the thing, requiring power button held restart before working - more current brilliance...think waiting until it FULLY computed sizes of everything -even unchecked migration item entries besides the one user wnated- may have been the fix on 2nd try?). Then, I created another admin account for myself on this system - the one used for ARD. Went back and set Remote Login to this last user only and it works like a charm. Did the same for Remote Management and my admin system with ARD won't add the computer (fails verification). Check and see the added admin is gone. Repeated a few times to no avail, so finally set it to All users and then I can add the system. HOWEVER, now, even though added, ANY of all 3 users gets Authentication failed to <the new iMac> (see images of current sad state of affairs - the new normal beyond just ARD).

That's how I found this sadly and wholly unsurprising thread:

I have a theory. I haven’t had a chance to test it yet. I was able to get it working using the all users selection.

I am guessing that a mac with either all admin accounts or just a single admin account locally on the computer won’t allow you bar another administrator account from ARD.

my theory is that the moment you add a standard local user it will allow you to select specific users and will retain that setting.

you can’t bar an admin from having full access to everything so having a setting that would restrict a root enabled user simply can’t happen.

but again this is just a theory. I would need to create a standard user and test this out.