At the risk of getting unfairly attacked on this forum for my parenting skills, I would like to add that I am truly disappointed that the new iOS doesn't include parental controls for texting. I was so naively hopeful. My request is simple: I would like to have the option to turn off texting completely.
From the beginning I used AT & T Smart Limits, in fact, it was because of this service that I felt comfortable letting my son purchase an iPhone. At first it seemed to work well. I limited the number of text messages he could send/receive so that we would not lose him completely to his peer group. I limited the hours of day he could text & make calls. And I limited his data usage. I also shut off Safari and replaced it with the K-9 Browser (which sadly, is fairly useless, so he didn't use it). All of it seemed to work well...until he found workarounds, like iMessage (which cannot be controlled by AT&T) and Facebook. This did not make me happy, but it wasn't yet a deal breaker.
And then came difficulties with peers at school. I believe his principal said it best: "unlike when we were growing up and we'd had a bad day, we could go home and get a break from it. With today's technology, as great as it is, these kids don't get that break." Sorting out how to not be the "bad guy" as a parent in this situation (for strategically removing his access to these communication tools) was complicated to say the least. And then there was the sexting and the just general "stupid things kids say to each other in text messages" that they would never say in person or even on the phone. It went from bad to worse. And we suddenly had a son who was sad and lonely and wouldn't communicate with us anymore. It was rough for several months.
So where are we now? He has a new phone. A $40 Samsung flip phone with no texting, no bells, no whistles. His iPhone, for all intents and purposes, has been turned into an iPod Touch, except that he also doesn't currently have wireless access (thank you iMessage! Urg!) and the phone can't leave the house. The results? He is happy. He has friends. He has a great girlfriend. He's doing well in school and his other endeavors. And, most importantly, he talks to us again, let's us in on his struggles and his successes, and let's us provide support when he needs it Does he love his new phone? Is he happy with us for downgrading his iPhone? Absolutely not. This is why I was so hopeful that today I would be able to return his iPhone to it's former glory, shut off the texting app, and give it back to him (and toss the Samsung). I hadn't planned to ban him from texting for life (or rather until age 18), just until we felt he was on solid ground with friends and he'd developed some better communication skills in the real world before launching him back into the twisted world of texting. (Plus-there would always be the simple safety net of shutting it off again if there we problems.)
But alas, it was not to be.
I understand that it is not Apple's responsibility to assist me in parenting my son, but they certainly have profited from the teenage market. And if I could do it over, I never would have let my son save up and buy himself an iPhone. And, needless to say, my younger son already knows that unless Apple does develop better parental controls for the iPhone (and iPodTouch, by the way), he will not be able to buy an iPhone (or iPod Touch) for himself until he is much older. I guess it seems it would be in Apple's best interest to help to provide texting restriction options to parents to hold on to this market.