When you are trying to send a message to your husband, are you typing his AppleID into the "To" line? When you do that, it should automatically list the options you can choose from for that ID. For example, my husband's info in my Contacts has his iPhone number, work email address (which is his AppleID), and a couple of other numbers listed. Only his work email address and his iPhone number have the blue bubble next to them. If I select either one of those, he will get the message.
Hope this helps!
I was playing around with iMessage on my Mac, and discovered a couple of interesting things that may help some more:
I was wrong to say that you needed to put in his AppleID - you can put in his name, number, email address, etc., and it should bring up a list of the email addresses and phone numbers that you have for him in your Contacts.
iMessage-compatible numbers/email addresses will have a blue balloon next to them, but ONLY after you have selected it and brought it into the "To" line for the first time.
I found this out by typing a single letter in the "To" box to bring up a list of names from my Contacts. No one on the list had a blue balloon next to them at this point. I then selected one of them that I knew had a registered iPhone, and his name showed up and remained blue. When I cleared the "To" box and then typed in the same letter again to get the list redisplayed, his name now showed up with the blue balloon.
I think once you have selected a registered friend to text, they should then show up with the blue balloon after that!
Hope this helps!
Having typed "Ralph" in to the "To" spot I then select my Address Card trying to pin down the iPhone number.
AS you can see from the Pic the name becomes a Drop down and shows you the Options to contact the person and marks the iPhone Number and Apple ID with the blue Speech Bubble.
I would say though that Messages and the Contacts List seem to have to "Learn" which as valid via connection. As you can see it tends to think my Landline number is a potential iMessages contact method.
NOTE It will not connect iMessages to AIM.
Those below the Line will change to an AIM to AIM conversation.
Please, if posting Logs, do not post any Log info after the line "Binary Images for iChat"
iMac 2.5Ghz 5i 2011 (Mountain Lion 10.8.2)
G4/1GhzDual MDD (Leopard 10.5.8)
MacBookPro 2Gb (Snow Leopard 10.6.8)
Mac OS X (10.6.8),
Couple of iPhones and an iPad
"Limit the Logs to the Bits above Binary Images." No, Seriously