When I throw pictures in iPhoto in the trash, they end up in my desktop trash also
Yes, that's normal. It's a safety feature with the latest version of iPhoto in case you delete a photo and empty the iPhoto Trash bin by mistake. You have a chance to recoover it.
ok, thx, I was wondering why this started happening after I updated my iPhoto
Correct - to delete a photo in iPhoto select it in an event and press the delete key (or drag it to the trash), empty the iPhoto trash and the system trash
Depends on what update you did - that is new in iphoto '11
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