I have a large iTunes library, 600Gb of Music and 20TB odd of video.
I tried a few different things while I was on the road.
The VPN back was Ok, but I was looking for ways to run video to hotel rooms and 3G / Hotel WIFI wasn't doing it for me.
For Video I ended up using AirVideo from my iMac to my iPad, and that was Ok, Pex can do the same now, so will try that as well.
For music I ended up creating a new login on my iMac and loaded the music that meant the most or was new into iTunes up to 25k songs and shared it using Music Match, that work well for me.
My guess is that Plex will let you share and remote access all your audio video, I haven't tried it yet though.