I'm sorry to hear you are having issues with your iTunes library on your husband's Mac.
It sounds like you need to Repair Permissions using the Disk Utility application.
Using the Repair Privileges Utility
Most users of Mac OS X have not intentionally modified privileges and simply need a utility to reset system privileges to their correct default values.
For Mac OS X 10.2 or later, open Disk Utility (/Applications/Utilities/). Select your Mac OS X startup volume (usually called Macintosh HD) in the column on the left of the Disk Utility window, then click the First Aid tab. Click the Repair Disk Permissions button.
You may also need to change the permissions for your Music folder (and all subfolders):
How to View and Change Permissions in the Finder's Info Window
The Mac OS X Finder can be used to inspect and modify permissions settings for some files and folders. You can only change permissions for files and folders of which you are the owner. This can aid in troubleshooting permissions-related issues. To view and change permissions in the Info window, follow these steps:
- Select a file or folder in the Finder.
- From the File menu, choose Show.
- Choose Privileges from the pop-up menu in the Info window.
- Using the pop-up menus, change permissions settings as necessary (Figure 1).
- Optional: If you are changing permissions for a folder and you want the changes to apply to enclosed folders as well, click Apply. Apply only appears when you show info for folders.
Note: Changes made using the Info window take effect as soon as they are made, even before closing the window
I hope this information helps ....
Have a great day!