HT203356: If iTunes doesn't respond when you connect an iOS device
Learn about If iTunes doesn't respond when you connect an iOS device
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Jun 3, 2013 2:28 PM in response to drmcjmby AurelianoNile,★HelpfulTry to sign out of imessage and turn it off entirely on both devices, make sure they are both signed out and off at the same time (if you sign out and back in on one and then the other this probably will not work). turn imessage back on and sign on both. this should resolve the issue. if not, reply and let me know!
-Ry
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Jun 3, 2013 4:54 PM in response to AurelianoNileby drmcjm,Thanks much, this was helpful but the problem was with my wife's iPhone settings (using my iPhone number).