Q: i lost my air play icon and i can not connect to Apple TV

your question is under

1st generation appletv it looks like this

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-21CrJMe3yP4/UCEzi5OPHEI/AAAAAAAAAUE/nfJF0AK_uns/s1600/ index5.jpg

it does not support airplay

if you don't have an first generation appletv then the fact that you can't connect to your appletv would cause airplay icon to stop showing

could be your appletv have lost it's wifi network settting in which case you need to add them again