Q: iTunes crashing

Hello, mel_app.  

Thank you for visiting Apple Support Communities.  

I am not sure if you are experiencing an issue with iTunes not responding when your iPhone is connected or that your iPhone update via iTunes.  However, here are two troubleshooting articles that provide solutions for both issues.  

iTunes: May become unresponsive when connecting iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch

http://support.apple.com/en-us/HT203356

Resolve iOS update and restore errors in iTunes

http://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201210

Cheers, 

Jason H.