Q: how can i change email address connected to phone

Good day Jay,

It is a pleasure to get to assist such a long time user of Apple Support Communities. Let's see what we can do for you.

It is not quite clear from your post whether you are simply trying to remove your wife's email account on the iPhone and replace it with your own, or you want to change the Apple ID being used on the phone. I'll answer both questions.

To remove an email account from your iPhone, go to Settings > Mail, Contacts, Calendars, select the account and click Delete Account. To add your own, in Mail, Contacts, Calendars > Add Account. Enter your account details as prompted. See this help page - Set up other mail, contacts, and calendar accounts - iPhone

To use a different Apple ID on your iPhone, follow the steps in this article - Sign in with a different Apple ID on your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch.

Thanks for using Apple Support Communities.

Safe computing.