Q: Parental Control function "notifications" never received

We passed our iPhone5 down to our preteen and set up Parental controls to limit access to pretty much anything without our approval. If she wants to purchase a song, it requires the iTunes account password in order to purchase/download (duh) but, will not allow the download unless she sends a "notification" to us for approval. Only we never get ANYTHING, ever. If she chooses NOT to send the notification to us, she's not allowed to download it (which is how I presume it is setup to work).

Our workaround is: I end up having to download that music file  (or App from App Store) onto my phone so it is in the cloud and she can then, access via family sharing. If I don't want it on my device too, then, I must delete from my phone once, it is installed. What a pain!

Is there something in my iPhone settings (or my husband's) to be changed to start getting the notifications to approve her downloads?

If not, how do it UNDO this approval process in the first place? Currently it is worthless to me.

Any help from you fine people, would sure be nice!

Preteen - iPhone 5 32g  iOS 9.3.1

Mine - iPhone 5c 32g iOS 9.3.1

Hubby - iPhone 6 (??g - more than me )  iOS 9.3

Verizon