Q: HELP! My ipod touch has a mind of it's own!

So I've had the ipod touch gen 5 for about 2 years, but about 2 weeks ago it started to have problems.

• It fast-forwards through my songs randomly
• It opens up Siri without the home button ever been pressed (although i don't think the button is broken)
• It pauses and plays songs randomly
• it starts playing music without the music app ever being turned on

As you can see my ipod seems to have a mind of its own, and while I love the idea of  A.I. these problems get me so f-ing frustrated i want to smash my €300 ipod off the f-ing wall. Now before you tell me to try turning it off and back on again let me just say that i already tried that, in fact i've tried numerous ways to fix these problems (obviously none of them worked hence this post) At first i thought it could just be a system failure or whatever you call it so i tried doing a forced reset i believe its called, basically i held the home and off buttons at the same time until it turned off. I tried this many times but it hasn't ever worked. I then thought it was my music (but still doesn't explain siri opening up) so i synced my ipod to my itunes. (Didn't help)

one important thing to note: the problems only occur when in-ear headphones are plugged in

with that in mind i thought that it was the earphones that i was using (not apple brand, no buttons) even though i had been using the same earphones for a while before current problems occurred. so i switched to the original apple in-ear headphones with the buttons that always break for me hence why i don't use them. Yep that didn't fix the problems. They still continue to **** me off. Now i have a fear that my headphone jack is broken since problems don't occur when music is being played aloud (no headphones) and when i have on my wireless headphones connected via bluetooth. Even if my headphone jack was broken i can't possibly see how this could effect 1) siri being turned on when there's something in the jack 2) the skipping/fast-forwarding/pausing/playing of songs

So i turn to you people of the internet, if you have any idea of how to fix this or how this is even happening or if you have had a similar experience, i would sincerely appreciate your response. Thank you for reading this far, this is your reward.