Q: first time setup problems

Are you saying you can't navigate the menu's, regardless of whether you can understand them or not.

I don't suppose you have an older Apple TV or a MacBook that came with a remote.

I think restoring it from iTunes might be the answer but that would require a USB-C cable which you may not want to purchase, especially without any guarantee of success. I'd be inclined to return it for a replacement at this stage.

They sell millions of them though, even at 0.1% failure rate that's thousands.

Just bought one today. Remote does not work. Tried linking it as instructed but nothing. Can't even set up the language. Charged up the remote but nothing. Dead as the proverbial Dodo. Tried linking it to my ipad.. It connects but nothing. Taking it back tomorrow.

I'm having the same issue... remote has been charging for two days - still does not work - unit is in some language thats all symbols and I haven't a clue as to how to program or change.  I am taking it back tomorrow and going back to my cheaper - easier to navigate chrome plug in.