- Member Since:
- Aug 13, 2012
- I'm...BEHIND YOU!
- Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy...the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess in the insane lament. My childhood was typical...summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds...pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe.
- Able to eat 15 Taco Bell chalupas in a single sitting; able to repel almost anyone following the pratice of the first listed experience point; able to recite the aphabet backwards.
- Horse Whisperer