I've been using iStumbler. Even when the WDS network isn't working, the "unseen" base stations in Airport Utility are found with iStumbler. There is only one other Wifi network that occasionally is found, but we are many channels apart.
I had problems with cordless phones in my house, because the walls are thick, so I switched to DECT 6.0, which works well and shouldn't cause any wifi interference.
I'm very confident interference isn't the problem, because the network works for a while before dying, and iStumbler doesn't have problems locating any of the bases.
This morning, I could only find the closest Express to my iBook. I used Airport Utility to reset it. When the Express disappeared, I was able to connect to the Extreme and to the other Express. Then all three became available. I'm sure that when I get home, the network will be down again.
Tomorrow I will do a factory default reset of all three bases and start again from scratch. I can't see how that will help, but why not. After that, I'll probably give up on having a wireless network and return the new Express and Extreme. Maybe I'll try smoke signals. I can't begin to express how annoyed I am that I can't get this simple network to work consistently.
I am sure that this is a problem with Apple, not me. How is it possible that iStumbler can "see" the signal from all the bases, yet they can't regularly communicate with each other?