Here's what worked for me. You need to check your user account and click the icon at the top that says "login items." Look in the list and see if "ituneshelper.app" is listed; if it it NOT listed you need to add it (so keep this window open). Here's how to do that: go to your application folder and highlight itunes, secondary click it and select "show package contents" after that opens, go to the contents folder and then go to the resource folder. In the resource folder you will see "Ituneshelper" drag iTunesHelper to the login items. Close it up, and then reboot.
Now connect your ipod/touch or whatever with itunes closed and it SHOULD open..be sure you've chosen open itunes when ipod is connected. It worked for me, and hope it works for everyone else.