I would add this, if you find that an Apple retail store isn't up to par for any reason, please complain directly to the store manager your issues. We are just end users here.
You can also contact Apple at any of the various locations here:
http://www.apple.com/contact/
In general Apple retail will not install 3rd party RAM, at least that's been my and other people's experience. Many third party resellers will do such installations, and some will even find a way to install hard drives safely. None of the Apple retail stores I know of will do that for you.
Bringing it in to service at some Apple retail stores, you often will need to hold on to your original RAM and hard drive, and any other hardware that shipped with the machine before they are willing to diagnose the machine for a hardware issue. So if you swap hardware, keep the old hardware in case it needs to be repaired.
Authorized dealers have told me they have to order parts from a generic hardware wholeseller for Apple products, whereas Apple when you deal with Applecare directly has a centralized repair center for some machines which can get some repairs done quicker. Your mileage may vary. When I've called AppleCare, they have told me repairs that take longer than 3 attempts or 3 weeks often can be asked to be changed to replacements. But again this may have changed.
Whether any of these are general policy or not, is unknown, as we can't question policy on this board.
You may not like the "I don't know", but in general a lot of things Apple does not outline for end users clearly. So all you are going to get is general experience and not a definitive answer.