Here's the way I do it. There may be another way as well. If you click, "Simulate" and the 1st highlighted button is NOT at the top or it is NOT the FIRST button you want Highlighted when someone puts the DVD in a DVD player, remember which button is the first highlighted button (regardless of the button name) and EXIT "Simulate." Then, go to the "Menu" screen, drag and move the button that was FIRST highlighted when you were in "Simulate." Move it to the top or wherever you want it on the screen. Now you have to rename the button(s), reset each Target for the buttons and in Graphical view re-assign the End Jumps again. Now when you view "Simulate" again, the button you want highlighted 1st should be highlighted 1st. If you click the arrows while in Simulate, but they are highlighting OUT OF ORDER, go to the "Menu" screen, click the "Settings" button near the top right and select "Auto Assign Buttons Now." When you Simulate again, the buttons should highlight in the proper order. Up, down, left and right. If they still don't go in the order you want, Fix each button manually by highlighting a button on the MENU screen and adjusting the "Navigation" drop-downs in the Inspector's "Advanced" Tab. Save the project when all is corrected.
I hope this is helpful and didn't confuse you more 🙂