Umm,
Any Modems involved should or are I Presume Bridged and the routers are the ones doing UPnP.
This should mean that the ports iChat is supposed to use for Screen Sharing are open.
The Documentation would suggest that these are likely to be the same ones as Apple Remote Desktop (5900 and 5988) which plain old Screen Sharing should also use.
Having said that I use Little Snitch which reports that the ports used are a lot more random than that and can be almost anywhere.
NAT is an almost bottomless pit as it in fact it is
a global term for an number of ways of doing the same thing in different devices.
I take it this is using two different Screen Names from the progress you report.
Settings in routers such as Ping Blocking and DOS or SPI filters would seem not to be an Issue as it works with other people.
iChat sends a Ping in
All forms of A/V Chat and as Screen Sharing has an Audio component it is included.
DOS or SPI is likely to be Threshold based and a Screen Share is less of a data Stream than Video chat is.
I take it Video chats works ?
9:27 PM Tuesday; July 22, 2008