Ok, I managed to solve the issue!
here is how I did.
0 - everything was uninstalled and I rebooted
1 - installed quicktime from a sepearate install package
2 - extract all the msi from apple's itunes64install.exe
3 - install bonjour using 'msiexec /i bonjour64.msi /log bonjour.log'
that will log all the errors and do install only bonjour. I got a crash on the end and used this command to make sure everything was installed properly: 'msiexec /fa bonjour64.msi' . this means basically "repair and force reinstallation of all files".
4 - one reboot after, I attemps to install the apple mobile package... and it fails, rolling back. I created an entry in the registry to get it to be run once at start, when my session is opened. to know how to do that, consult this:
http://www.pcreview.co.uk/forums/thread-1578294.php and use the command 'msiexec /i c:\path\applemobiledevicesupport64.msi'
5 - on reboot you wil see the same install and no failure! amazing.
6 - install itunes64. if it fails, add to the registry an entry to do a 'msiexec /fa itunes64.msi', that did it with me.
and after a reboot, I got itunes, iphone and all working fine.
recommendations for the future: apple guys learn to make proper install scripts.