I've had exactly the same problem. I have only just recently found out that I can actually video chat with an AIM 5.5 user, but only if they invite me - if I invite them it fails. This is the first time I've ever had a successful PC->Mac chat with my Netgear DG834 router.
However, a certain amount of time into the chat (I don't know if it was exactly 6.5 minutes but I can check next time we have a meeting) the video stream I was receiving from the PC froze. Audio was not affected, and he continued to receive video from my iSight. The AIM user has a Draytek Vigor router, not sure exactly which model.
After the video froze, connection Doctor showed that we were both still pushing out about 150k/bps, even though the remote frame rate and video quality had dropped to zero. I normally have my iChat set to send up to 200k/bits, this works fine Mac->Mac.
I don't think its a bandwidth, ISP or router configuration issue. I suspect it
could be a bug in AIM or iChat, that's my best guess.
Regards
Dave
EDIT: I have a windows XP PC here running AIM5.5 as well as my Mac - I can maybe help with a test if any iChat user is interested.