Same issue here.
When I made the switch to Snow Leopard, I observed this behavior - all my iCal events from work turning grey/white, with dashed lines. Over time, as I received new invites from work I noticed that they were coming in properly colored, so I figured the grey/white events would eventually disappear over time and I would just live with it.
I was performing some system maintenance this weekend and noticed that my "~/Library/Caches" directory had grown to ~1.5GB. In the interest of recovering disk space I deleted the entire contents of "~/Library/Caches." I've done this many times before, without issue. When I later opened iCal, I noticed that
all of my work events (events that I received by e-mail invite) had turned back to grey/white, with dashed lines. I later found out that when I dumped all the caches it included this folder: "~/Library/Caches/com.apple.iCal."
Another piece of the puzzle....