Apple Mobile Device does not want to run no matter WHAT I do!!!

I uninstalled everything apple related, and manually removed all files a billion times. I used advanced uninstall programs to delete registry keys afterwards at least six times. Everytime I install iTunes, the mobile device service doesn't want to work. When I try to start it from the services program, it gives me error 1053: the service did not respond to the start or control request in a timely fashion.

I am THE administrator, the unlocked true one, etc.

What am I supposed to do??