seems to work now, i pieced it together from what was posted above, thanks all
1) followed steps 1-7 as posted by wtimothyholman page 3
2) followed steps 3-8 posted by Vesrah on page 3
3) but selected the ML-2525W Gutenprint drivers instead
this fixed the general connection problem, but not the timeout
download and unzip the firmware as posted by scair on page 3/4:
4) open SyncThruWeb in Safari by typing in the printer IP determined earlier
5) select the "ML2525_V1.01.00.83.hd" file from the download for firmware upgrade in SyncThruWeb
instead of the printer going "offline", i now got "can not connect to printer retry in x seconds" error, so
6) likely the most important step: RESET YOUR ROUTER
good luck