VW Communication Package not compatible

I own a 2010 VW Crew Cab with communication package. My iPhone 3Gs (software ver 4) will not pair with the system. The phone is found with the device search, but when trying to pair, the car system says the device is not compatible. VW tried upgrading the software on the car without success and now do not seem to have an answer. The have asked me to make sure the SIM Card Remote is enabled !!! I do not know how to do this.