Apple pencil won't pair no matter what

I bought a brand new iPad 6th gen, and the compatible apple pencil, but no matter what I do, it just won't pair (for the first time). I've tried resetting the iPad, turning it (and bluetooth) on and off multiple times, watched videos and read several Q&A's about the same issue, but people usually get it to work after turning bluetooth off and on again, or after holding in the lock and home button at the same time for some seconds to reset it - but none of that works with me. I can't even get it to forget the device, since it never showed up under devices in the bluetooth section, and yes, I HAVE charged it, for a few hours..

What am I supposed to do?? Assume the pencil is defect and get it exchanged to a new one, or have I missed a basic step?