Need help with Photos and Referenced files

Photos does not handle referenced files well, as you found out. As far as duplicates goes, I think when using referenced files Photos assumes you know what you are doing.

If you want a badge on a referenced file, send feedback to Apple.

I've also heard many horror stories about not being able to get their precious photos out of an internal software-specific library such as iPhoto, Photos, etc..

That have been horror stories. You can always get the originals out of any of Apple's photo libraries. As long as Photos is installed and working, you can open the library in Photos and use the command "File > Export > Export unmodified original" to save the originals in folders outside the photos Library. And if Photos should not be able to open the library, ctrl-click the Photos Library and copy the Masters folder out of the library bundle. It is organized in subfolders according two the year, month, day of of the import session of the photos.

if you want to use a referenced library, make it easy for yourself to keep track of the originals, since you will be responsible to find them. Keep them well organized in one place, and in subfolders, that you can easily recognize based on the date and location, when you took the photo. You may want to write the path to the referenced file into the Info for a photo.

Do any of you know a good non-cloud, non-subscription program that works well with referenced files.

Good, of course, is specific to your own needs and requirements. CaptureOne, OnOnePhoto Raw, PhotoSupreme are all non-subscription, and work with referenced files. Thing is, certainly in the case of the first two, that using a subscription model is about the same price per annum as keeping them up-to-date.

It's not recommended to use a reference library. Too many problems. Read this user tip before committing to a reference library: Disadvantages of a Referenced Library in Photos for Mac

there should be a-tiny arrow in the lower left corner of the thumbnail to show that the original is referenced. you enable all kinds of badge overlays in the menu “view metadata”

Thanks, I have got to start looking at the metadata list before answering things like this!

no problem, Keith!

So, don't use the cloud, I don't and Photos works fine. And what Leonie said about getting the originals.

Yes but Photos is really not remotely equipped to work with a referenced Library.

I know, I said that above. 8^)