Hello uptight80,
Thank you for posting in the Apple Support Communities. I understand you're running into an issue setting up a new iPhone XR, and I'm here to see how I can help out.
You mentioned you tried activating using iTunes, which is always a great step. What happened when you tried? If you got an error message, what did it say?
This resource is helpful for most activation issues: If you can't activate your iPhone. Have you tried the troubleshooting suggested below yet? If not, those would be your next best steps:
- To check for network or activation issues and see if you need to replace your SIM card, contact your carrier.
- Use recovery mode to restore your iPhone."
If you've verified with your carrier that everything is good on that end, and you're not able to activate after restoring in recovery mode, that's when I recommend that you get in touch with Apple. You can use this link to Contact Apple Support.
I hope this helps you activate your new iPhone!
Cheers.