i forgot my passcode to my iphone and it hasnt been backed up

You can't. Because the passcode is held only on the phone there is no recovery process as there is with online logins such as iCloud. I'm afraid your only option is to erase it.

If you forgot the passcode for your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch, or your device is disabled - Apple Support

If you cannot remember the passcode, and/or it is disabled, you must restore it as new to reset the passcode. That process will erase it. Without a backup you will lose data.

That is explicitly designed into iOS to ensure that without the passcode, no one, using any means, can gain access to the device’s data.