Spyware on my phone

Although Apple devices are generally resistant to spyware and malware that is really only a safe assumption for remote (online) attacks, and they may still be vulnerable if the attacker can get hands-on access. However, it is still relatively difficult to attack the device and a lot easier to attack your online accounts where much of your data will be mirrored. If someone has had physical access to your devices and/or knows your passwords that would be a possible explanation for your unexpected observations.

As a starting point I suggest changing the passwords on your Apple ID and any other online accounts you think might be compromised. Pick something like a phrase you will remember reasonably easily but not a single dictionary word, your date of birth, or any other password which might be easily guessed by someone who knows you. The Apple ID password is easy, see Change your Apple ID password - Apple Support and also make sure you have 2 Factor Authentication enabled with only your devices listed as “Trusted Devices” to receive authentication codes. Changing the password should automatically logout all other devices except the one used to make the change if you use your iPhone. Then go into your listed devices in Apple ID and delete any which you don’t recognise. That should eject them from Find my iPhone. The final step is to change the passcode on all your devices.

The next step is to review the permissions in apps like Find Friends, and location sharing within iMessage. Look for any unknown third party apps in your iPhone and consider whether you need to keep or delete them, you can always go back to App Store and download again if you deleted one you wanted to keep. Then give your attention to other online passwords like Facebook and any other email accounts you might use.

I will be surprised if this does not secure your online life, or at least flush out a frustrated snooper. If the problems persist you might need to do a full wipe and factory reset on your devices, but that is hard work and time consuming so leave it for a later second round.

Finally, remember snooping and controlling behavior are considered to be a form of abuse in many jurisdictions. If this becomes an ongoing problem you may need to seek advice and support locally, and consider whether Law Enforcement should become involved.

spyware keyloggers? on iOS device?

Have you installed any spurious software or unauthorised apps from internet directly? If yes, remove them and if no, then there is no chance of any virus, spyware or malware on your iOS device