my iphone is connectted to my laptop and charging but will not connect to my itunes meaning i can not sync nor back up my iohone

Try the suggestions in here.

If iTunes doesn't recognize your iPhone, iPad, or iPod - Apple Support

If everything is up to date and you're connecting your iPhone to a MacBook, you're not to use iTunes to sync anymore. Open Finder and you'll see your iPhone there. Click trust and the phone will sync. The Finder is where you're sync and connect to iTunes now.

Basically, iTunes is no longer: https://support.apple.com/en-ca/HT210200

Itunes is not what it once was. It is now Music. In order to backup or see your phone, you have to follow the below. It does work I just did it to backup my 2 iPhones.

How to back up with your computer

1. Connect your device to your computer. On a Mac with macOS Catalina 10.15, open Finder. On a Mac with macOS Mojave 10.14 or earlier, or on a PC, open iTunes.
2. If a message asks for your device passcode or to Trust This Computer, follow the onscreen steps. If you forgot your passcode, get help.
3. Locate your device on your computer. If your device doesn't appear on your computer, learn what to do.
4. If you want to save Health and Activity data from your device or Apple Watch, you need to encrypt your backup: Select the box called Encrypt [device] backup and create a memorable password. If you don't need to save your Health and Activity data, you can make a backup that isn't encrypted. Just click Back Up Now.
5. 
   
6. Write down your password and store it somewhere safe, because there's no way to recover your iTunes backups without this password.
7. 
8. When the process ends, you can see if the backup finished successfully.
9. 

In may case the problem was related to the Microsoft install of iTunes. Installing from the Microsoft Store does not install the drivers. You need to get the full install from Apple.

A device that is disabled has to be put into Recovery Mode to connect. See the information here, If you forgot the passcode for your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch, or your device is disabled - Apple Support

iTunes is unable to access my iPhone - error says that it is waiting for Windows to update the driver. I checked and teh driver is up to date. The connection is working as I can access photos through explorer. The PC is running Windows 10

Still not helping me, as I'm not in Catalina as of yet. My iMac can only be updated to High Sierra. No further.

As mentioned, System Information is showing that the iPhone is connected, but it is not showing up in iTunes.

I've been to the Genius Bar at the Apple Store. They had the same issues on their machine running High Sierra. The iPhone would not come up in iTunes.

Everything works fine in Mojave, but again, that isn't an option for my iMac.

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Your passcode to what, iPhone or Mac?

Tried the suggestions in the Answer.

Restarted iMac i7. Rebooted iPhone 8. Changed USB ports. Hooked up a new cable.

Nothing.

I'll see about contacting Apple next.

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my iPhone display says "disabled connect to iTunes. But when I connect to iTunes and stroll to devices, will not allow sync

activation

Thank you! This solved my problem. I guess I need to read the release notes from now on.

im connected the ipod to the computer to reset over iTunes I cant find my device

I also have this question too. The other day i had forgotten my password and i needed to go to itunes to reset my iphone fully. However, to do that i have to connect my iphone and computer. BUT, that doesn't work.

You need to type in your passcode to clear the usb restriction on data communication through the usb port.