I have the iPhone 8 Plus

Check if you have a beta profile installed that is if you took part in beta testing.

If you do, delete the profile.

Read here: Update your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Apple Support

It's very hard to understand your question.

dillon287 wrote:

but when I go to software update it says my phone is up to date

Perhaps your software is in fact up to date! You have left it to us to guess what software you mean, and what version you have.

"Software Update" updates iOS. If you have iOS 13.1, you are up to date.

Application software is updated through the App Store.

Can you plug your phone into iTunes and check for update there? Your device should be getting 13.1 right now and there are a few people here complaining of similar issues. It might be a problem with Apple’s OTA (over the air) update server.

What version software are you running right now?

You're welcome, enjoy.