I just did the upgrade from 4.0 to 4.0.1 on my 32g 3Gs and got an error with the firmware installation. Of course, I did a backup before doing the upgrade. I had to boot into recovery mode and do a restore, which took about one hour because I have so many songs, videos, and photos on my phone. I compared my signal bars with my wife's iPhone which runs 4.0 and the bars are bigger and fatter. My iPhone is also speedier, but I think that is a result of the restore, not the update.
I've had an iPhone since January 2009 and have NEVER, not once, had a dropped call from AT&T. I switched from Verizon and now enjoy rollover minutes and a more crisp, clear connection.
I would beware of doing this update - as anyone should with any update. And do a backup. Everything should be fine - but I don't feel this is a necessary update for anyone using an iPhone 3G or 3Gs.
As for getting an iPhone 4, I'm going to do it. I think the "death grip" is a non issue. Yes, people see their bars go down, but it has no effect on whether or not they will have a dropped call - that's what everyone is saying that has an iPhone 4.