iPhone XR not connecting to itunes

I need help getting my iPhone XR to connect to my MacBook Pro. I was able to connect to iTunes before but now my phone will not pop up on iTunes. I have tried resetting both my computer and phone, made sure my Mac is updated to Catalina 10.15.1 and phone updated to 13.2.3 but it still does not work. I tried using a different charger , and even tried plugging in 2 different iPhones to see if it was just my phone.. but non of the phones pop up in iTunes. (usually when it detects a phone it automatically opens iTunes, but it does not do that)... not sure what else to do so came here