I have successfully removed the screen time password from an iPhone running iOS 13.
1) Connect iPhone to a Mac
2) Make a local backup of the phone
3) Use "Restore iPhone", which effectively reinstalls the OS from scratch, and restores a backup. Note, this is NOT the same thing as "Restore Backup...", which only wipes and recreates the user data and does not reinstall to OS. For iOS 13, the screen time pass code IS NOT INCLUDED in the backup.
Once your phone is restored, you will be able to configure a new screen time passcode, and re-enable share across devices without this passcode being overwritten. (however, as an aside, there appears to be a different bug in which devices aren't getting the new screen time passcode, I'm working with Apple Support on this currently).