Hello G Bates,
If I'm understanding you right, you would like to know if it's possible to have both you and your wife be an organizer in the same Family Sharing group and share purchases with each other. I'd like to provide you with some information on this.
It's not possible to have more than one organizer on a Family Sharing group, however, you should still be able to share her purchases. Try following the steps listed here if you aren't seeing her purchases: If you don't see your family's shared content. By default purchases are charged to the family organizers payment method. If she would like to pay for purchases using her own payment method she would either need to be removed from your group or you would have to turn off purchase sharing for everyone. The only way for her to pay for her own purchases while in the Family Sharing group with purchase sharing still turned on would be to add funds to her Apple ID. Your payment method would only be used if her Apple ID balance was too low to cover the purchase. View more about adding funds to her Apple ID here: Add funds to your Apple ID.
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Take care.