I want to change my phone number in my account recovery

You can edit your personal information, including authorized phone numbers, by logging into your AppleID account at https://appleid.apple.com

f you are locked out of your Apple ID account you can go to https://iforgot.apple.com

This will provide you with the recovery steps you put in place for this situation.

Here are some support articles that should help:

If you forgot your Apple ID password - Apple Support

If you forgot the answers to your Apple ID security questions - Apple Support

If your Apple ID has been locked or disabled – Apple Support

See If you forgot your Apple ID password https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201487

You also can use Having trouble signing in/iForgot https://iforgot.apple.com/password/verify/appleid 

And you almost certainly will need to see If you forgot the answers to your Apple ID security questions https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201485

Before trying to answer your security questions is very important that you think about your questions and their answers carefully and try to recall all details you can. If you don't answer them correctly enough, then you easily can lose control of your account.

Note that if you lose control, it may be very difficult to recover your account. That is, it is likely that you'll have to (1) have your receipt for the purchase of a pertinent device from an authorized Apple seller with its serial number on it or (2) a court order instructing Apple to assist in the provision of access to a decedent’s information from the deceased person's accounts. 

Have you tried to get an email option when attempting to recover the password?