The following is written from the perspective of the owner, but you’ll get idea. A close family member often has sufficient access and insight to recover the required credentials and, subsequently, the device...
If your iPad is disabled, or you have forgotten your iPad passcode, you’ll need to follow this process:
https://support.apple.com/en-gb/HT211078
You’ll need access to either a PC (with iTunes installed) or a Mac (with iTunes or Finder - as appropriate for the installed version of MacOS).
You’ll also need your AppleID and associated password. If these have also been forgotten, they can be recovered here:
https://iforgot.apple.com
To recover your credentials, you’ll need access to one of the following:
- Your primary email address mailbox that corresponds with your AppleID
- Any of the secondary/recovery email addresses that should be configured for your AppleID account
- Any of the trusted telephone numbers (fixed line or Cellular/Mobile) that are associated with your AppleID
Unless you AppleID account has not been fully/correctly configured, or has been seriously neglected, recovery of the AppleID and password should not be difficult.
More information about recovery of your AppleID:
https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201354
More information about recovery of your AppleID password:
https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201487
When you recover access to your credentials, you would be well advised to log-in to your AppleID account from a web browser - and verify/update any email addresses and trusted telephone numbers:
https://appleid.apple.com