Quite often, close family members have sufficient knowledge - and access to likely recovery paths - that access to the AppleID account of the deceased family member can be recovered. Having done so, it is then possible to release the Activation Lock that prevents reuse of an iPad/iPhone.
The following guidance is written from the perspective of the owner - but you’ll get the idea as you run through the process.
If your device is Activation Locked, this help page will provide most of the information that you’ll need:
https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201365
If you have forgotten your AppleID or associated password, these can be recovered here:
https://iforgot.apple.com
To recover your credentials, you’ll need access to any one of the following:
- Your primary email address mailbox that corresponds with your AppleID
- Any of the secondary/recovery email addresses that should be configured for your AppleID account
- Any of the trusted telephone numbers (fixed line or Cellular/Mobile) that are associated with your AppleID
Unless you AppleID account has not been fully/correctly configured, or has been seriously neglected, recovery of the AppleID and password should not be difficult.
More information about recovery of your AppleID:
https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201354
More information about recovery of your AppleID password:
https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201487
When you recover access to your credentials, you would be well advised to log-in to your AppleID account from a web browser - and verify/update any email addresses and trusted telephone numbers:
https://appleid.apple.com
Having recovered access to the AppleID account (and therefore the AppleID username and associated Password), Activation Locks can be removed. There are several routes to this, but for brevity, I’ll refer you to this support page:
Turn off Activation Lock – Apple Support
If the passcodes of any devices are unknown, the data stored on the device itself is now gone - but from your question I surmise that data recovery is not you immediate aim. That said, if the device(s) have an associated iCloud backup, you can restore the backup data to the device. To do so, you would need to follow this procedure:
If you’ve forgotten the passcode on your iPad, or your iPad is disabled – Apple Support
You’ll need access to either a PC (with iTunes installed) or a Mac (with iTunes or Finder - as appropriate for the installed version of MacOS). At the end of the process, you’ll have the option to restore data from the backup.
If your intent is to wipe/reset the device(s) for reuse by a new user, you would be best advised to prepare them properly:
What to do before you sell, give away or trade in your iPhone, iPad or iPod touch – Apple Support
I hope to have covered all the likely scenarios - and similarly hope that this guidance is helpful in fully resolving your current difficulties.