Please help a stupid parent with restrictions passcode - stuck in a Kafka-esque loop we can't get out of...

The only way to erase the restrictions code is by erasing the device using iTunes. You should not have to enter the code in order to do this. If you were trying to erase the phone using the settings on the phone itself, then you would have to know the screen time passcode.

This should work if you follow these instructions.

If you forgot the passcode on your iPhone, or your iPhone is disabled - Apple Support

Make sure that you select Restore when the option presents itself. Updating will not erase the code.

btbxbe wrote:

I am about to throw the brand new iPhone and the old one - both of which belong to my teenage son - out of the window. You'll have to bear with me as I am an Android user and I am *still* failing to see what the attraction is, especially since I have spent ALL evening trying to fix this...

So the said son is not a reliable phone user so we've always had some parental restrictions. The passcode was set up and saved in my password manager.

Son has had an upgraded phone but in the process of setting up the new phone, we discover that the saved restrictions passcode is not, in fact, the right one. I don't recall changing it; he swears he hasn't tried to hack it - whatever, it is not right so we need to move on. I tried *EVERY* other possibility, in between being locked out - of both old and new phones - for longer and longer periods...

We then turned to helpful techie older son 1 for support - who recommended factory resetting. We can only do this via itunes (because OF COURSE, AND WHY WOULDN'T YOU!?... you can only RESET from the phone with... yup, access to the correct PARENTAL RESTRICTIONS CODE...)

WE. DID. THIS. Following ALL the online instructions from the gods of Apple.com themselves. I even downloaded itunes onto my PC, got it all up and running to 'restore'... Except it didn't work, either on the old or the new phone. Both just went back to exactly as they were before we went through an hour of waiting.

Perhaps we hit or failed to hit some button or tick box correctly. But there were no additional instructions about what has to be selected or not selected. It is almost as if someone does not want me to fix this.

And is there any nice Apple person I can speak to or live chat to about this? Apparently not, because obv we have to go to a STORE. In the middle of a pandemic, when I have two kids at home and two full time jobs to keep up with. JUST NO, Apple. Please, for the love of my sanity, someone just HELP ME?

Use recovery mode to restore the device back to factory settings as outlined here If you forgot the passcode on your iPhone, or your iPhone is disabled - Apple Support