finding my music in Music

didn't want to upgrade to Catalina for music reasons but I eventually did. Now I cannot find songs I ALREADY own on Music. If I put into the upper left search bar I am taken to Apple Music with a promise of a 3 month service and $9.99 per month price. I do not want this. I already own tons of music, have Spotify and Amazon Prime music. why do I want to spend $120 a year for music, again, I already own? I can't even search my own band's music by song, I have to scroll through the whole artist list to get to T. Yesterday I wanted to find a song I own but forgot the name of the band so I couldn't scroll. Had to look up on Safari who wrote it and then find in in artists. Magnifying glass doesn't work either. And why is this considered an upgrade? Looked it up via internet and only got answers to how to use Music. Any ideas? Or I'm downgrading to Mojave.