Screen time

My family has two iPads for the kids and an iPhone used by my husband. They all use my Apple ID. We are trying to set up screen time limit on the kids iPad. We had a screen time passcode that I forgot. I was able to use my Apple ID to change the passcode on one iPad but whenever I try to on the other iPad it doesn’t work. Every time I put in the Apple ID and password instead of asking for me to create new passcode, it increases the # of failed attempt and ask me to wait to try again. This iPad is also set up as the organizer in family sharing instead of my husband’s phone so my kid is able to buy and change stuff since he knows my Apple ID password. I want to know how I can start over- I want to make the iPhone the organizer and use it to control screen time.