an uptade it required to activate your ipad
How can I update, so I can activate the iPad?
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Is the update being requested by your computer? If so---that is normal and will not install Catalina. See:
I had that recently when I upgraded an iPad to iPadOS 14 using iTunes on my iMac running Mojave.
The download is NOT a system software upgrade. I had Mojave when I allowed the patch and I still have Mojave. No problem.
The download is small and took maybe two minutes to install. I believe it patches iTunes to allow you to continue to do backups, upgrades, and synching of your device through iTunes as before.
If this does not apply, it is because we are short of information only you can provide. Please post details if this is not the issue. you encountered.