Hi there JER47,
It is a little unclear on the issue that you are having with your iPhone. It appears that you may be trying to connect another device to the iPhone for another audio source but are only seeing the Speaker option.
Check out this resource for connecting a bluetooth accessory to the iPhone such as a headset: Pair a third-party Bluetooth accessory with your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch
If you are using AirPods, you can connect them using this resource: Connect and use your AirPods and AirPods Pro
Hope this helps!
Take care.