Beyond frustrated - Can't Update/Activate Apple Watch Series 5

Turned on my Apple Watch Series 5 for the first time in a couple of weeks due to having misplaced my charger. Upon doing so I was prompted to update WatchOS to the newest version. Okay.. no problem. Par for the course for Apple products. I go through the usual steps to update WatchOS, successfully pairing the device to my phone (Apple Watch shows "connected" in the device's Bluetooth settings). At this stage, I am in the "Watch" app. I am greeted with a message saying the following:

"Software Update: A software update is available for this Apple Watch. Update now to continue setting up."

I click "Update Now," and after checking for several seconds a message is displayed saying "watchOS 6.1.2 Your software is up to date." At this point, I have one option, and that is to click "Cancel". Doing so, brings up another menu:

Selecting "Continue Update" does nothing and simply closes the prompt. Selecting "Exit and Reset Watch" just effectively restarts the process, creating what is essentially an endless loop of iOS and watchOS saying "update now" and "your device is up to date"

I've tried the following:

-Restarting both the phone and Apple Watch

-Manually "forgetting" the device in bluetooth menu

-Uninstalling and restoring the Watch App

-Connecting iphone to both 2.4ghz and 5ghz WiFi networks even though, in theory, this should make no difference.

-Resetting bluetooth on phone

-Manually pairing watch to phone.

This is frustrating on a number of levels. First being, I had no intention of factory resetting/unpairing my watch in the first place, but the broken update process forced me to do so. Second, my $400 watch is an expensive paperweight (and not even a very good one) until this is resolved. This is my first time posting to this site, so hopefully someone can help to shed some light on this issue.