message says ipad disabled connect to itunes

If it is a Mac running macOS Catalina or later, you would use the Finder app, instead of iTunes, for this. If it is a Windows PC, there is a version of iTunes available for it to use.

A few other options would be:

1. Ask a friend or relative to use their computer.
2. Visit your local Apple Store or Apple Authorized Service Provider for help.

This message indicates an issue with your iPad and that it needs to be restored. Did you connect this iPad to a computer that is hosting iTunes?