how to update IPadOS 14.3 on ipad that says it is full

You don't.

If you need to free up free data storage space on an iPad/iDevice, you need to start by backing up your iPad to either Apple's iCloud ( you may need to pay for additional, monthly storage space ) or by connecting your iDevice to a computer running the latest iTunes or using a newer Mac using the macOS Finder and/or some other offsite, “cloud” data storage/backup services, like Google Drive/Photos, BOX, DropBox, Amazon Cloud Drive, Flickr ( for photos/images ), etc.

Then, delete any installed apps that you no longer use or use infrequently enough that they aren't missed (you can always reinstalled any purchased or free apps at some time later, as you need them).

In addition, uninstall any games that appear to be using a sizable chunk of your iPad's internal storage, as well!

Then, thin out/delete any music/videos/movies/TV shows/podcasts/screen recordings/images/eBooks/

eMagazine/iBooks/audio books/Documents/PDFs, etc.

If you use a POP email account on your iPad, delete/thin out any old saved emails that maybe saved to your iPad.

To permanently delete photos/images off of your iDevice go into the Photos app and find the Recently Deleted folder/album and permanently delete any photos/images stored in that folder/album.

Also, you can check to see what other stuff is eating up all your valuable data storage space by going into the Settings App,,General Settings Panel, in the right hand column, tap Storage & iCloud usage panel ( in iOS 11 and later, it’s now called iPad Storage ), in the top Storage Panel, tap the Manage Storage panel, wait for a list of apps to generate that will tell you how much space each app is taking up on your iDevice.

Then, for older iPads or iPads with a Lightning connector, do a hard reset of your iPad by holding down both the Home and sleep/wake buttons simultaneously until your iPad goes to black and restarts with Apple logo, then release the buttons.

Good Luck to You!